Not Enough (Rick Wadsworth)

When I left you (there in the hospice bed) I knew it would be the last time I’d see you.
The next time I’d see you, you would be dead, not there, a corpse.
And I knew this.
It was not, I may never see you again
(well Rick you may never see him again)
No it was not that.
It was certain
I was certain I’d never see you again.

So I threw my face onto yours
My arms over you withering
And
Trying for molecular fusion
Squeezed hard
And pled
I love you Dad,
I’ve always loved you ,
You were a good father,
I knew you loved me.

And no matter how hard I squeezed
No matter how long I squeezed
No matter how often I said these words…

IT WAS NOT ENOUGH

Maybe to stay would have been enough.
Maybe to stay until the last moment of our life
Would have been enough?
Enough for what?

So no , no, no
Nothing, no time, no words, no touch, no smell, no taste, no sight, no thoughts, no words
Nothing
NOTHING will ever BE Enough.

 

About Rick Wadsworth